By Daniel J. Benor, MD

Bullying occurs in many settings. The most familiar is in the lower grades in school, where children are learning how to deal with their emotions and relationships as much as they are learning academic materials. It occurs as well in higher school levels, including universities and within the ranks of teachers and professors; in the workplace; and in families.

Bullying can be grossly obvious, as when one person taunts, belittles, threatens, or physically abuses another. It can be more subtle, as in teasing or putting another person down by putting oneself up.

Those who are bullied are often physically weak and unable to stand up against the stronger bullies. They may also be mild-mannered, polite, considerate and unaggressive.

Regardless of the intensity of the interactions, bullying is experienced as unpleasant and painful. It may also be traumatic, leaving emotional scars for months, years or even for the rest of a person’s life.

Why are bullies bullies?

Most obviously, bullies put themselves up when they put someone else down. At the mild end of the spectrum this is within the range of establishing a pecking order of dominance and submission. This is a way that groups of people sort out who is a leader or follower. Animals who live in groups do this as well.

Within gangs and in other competitive situations, bullies claim their ‘turf’ and defend it against incursions of others. This serves in addition to increase the profits from their businesses because customers will often prefer to deal with the stronger ‘boss.’

Bullying often serves other functions as well. It provides outlets for the bully to release angers, hurts, fears and aggressions. This serves as a distraction from their negative feelings as well as an avenue for venting tensions.

By demonstrating strength against weaker people, bullies create and maintain the illusion, for themselves and others, that they are strong and competent. In reality, they often feel just the opposite.

Very commonly, those who bully others have been bullied themselves. This is typical of trauma behavior, and is often a major component of post traumatic stress disorders. Re-enacting a traumatic experience is a way for the unconscious mind to bring buried feelings into conscious awareness – in the hopes of releasing the buried memories and feelings associated with the traumas.

Bullying is a behavior that is destructive to all participants. Not only are those who have been bullied traumatized, but the bullies are distracted away from dealing with their own issues that are leading them to behave in these ways.

What are good ways to deal with bullying?

It is the responsibility and duty of those who are in positions of leadership to establish a safe environment in which bullying is discouraged and is stopped if it occurs. This is an important responsibility of parents, teachers, principals, managers in the workplace and others who are in charge of groups of people.

When bullying occurs, the bullies must be dealt with firmly and watched to see that they do not repeat their destructive behaviors. Sadly, there are often weak leaders or leaders who themselves are bullies. This perpetuates and worsens the bullying.

For those who have been bullied there are trauma treatment approaches that can help them release their painful memories and feelings. At the same time, these methods can help them install a better self-image, self-confidence and positive feelings.

TWR is excellent in all of these respects. TWR is easy to learn and to use. It can be used discreetly, so that no one but the person using it is aware of it. What is particularly helpful is that once a person learns how to use TWR, they can deal with their issues and feelings as they arise. TWR provides ways to release fears, angers, emotions and memories of pains and traumas – all within minutes. TWR enables people to connect with and strengthen their sense of competence, confidence and safety.

TWR can also help bullies to release the traumas, fears and negative emotions that underlie these negative behaviors. Where there are family issues behind the bullying, TWR can also be of enormous help to others in the family.

Related articles
TWR is Positively Wonderful for Installing Positive Thoughts and Life-Enhancing Feelings and Beliefs

A New Meta-Positive: Compassion for Our Own Problems, Feelings, Inner Rules and Meta-Responses

Further articles coming soon:

Attachment Addictions

My Way Is Better than Your Way

Our Way is Better than Your Way

Discomforts, Dislikes and Deadly Fears of Being Wrong

Creative Clearing and Centering

 

You may reproduce all or parts of this article in your journal, magazine, ezine, blog or other web or paper publication on condition that you credit the source as follows: Copyright © 2012 Daniel J. Benor, MD, ABHM   All rights reserved. Original publication at  WholisticHealingResearch.com  where you will find many more related articles on this and similar subjects of wholistic healing.