By Daniel J. Benor, MD

Our world is an amazing, wonder-full place. It is deliciously complex and endlessly changing in expected and unexpected ways, full of surprises and stimulating introductions to new ways of seeing and being – within ourselves, in our interactions with each other, and in our explorations of life, the world and everything. The mental maps we build are a great help in navigating our ways through life.

For those of you who are adventurous, who constantly seek new ways for understanding and interacting with the world, this kaleidascope of ever-unfolding experiences is an indescribably delicious delight. There are never-ending fresh and exciting nooks and crannies of natural wonders to discover; new patterns of relationships to explore; new ways of interacting with our inner selves and our broader Selves to experience. As I was growing up, National Geographic was one of my favorite windows into plants, animals, people and far places I would never have dreamed existed. Today, the Internet is a much fuller, richer, stimulating and interactive window into even broader horizons.

For those who prefer the comfortable environs of their familiar world, life’s pleasures are often found in different dimensions, and at a slower and more leisurely pace. What gives the most pleasure may be the well-explored chair in which a good read or a favorite TV series awaits a quiet moment at the end of a busy day; communal gatherings in church, school or volunteer groups; and the roads well traveled, with familiar sights, attractions and people along the way.

The good news is that these maps are always drawn with the intentions of pointing out the shortest roads to happiness and the safest paths through rough territory. The bad news is that these maps are often drawn when we are very young and not fully capable of understanding the world and its challenges. We may thus end up with maps in our internal GPS (SatNav in UK) that are outdated.

TWR provides tools for updating our navigational systems. It enables us to delete old programs and build in new and improved ones.

Wholistic maps

Whatever our preferences in styles for exploring and interacting with our world, we all have our personal maps to guide us along our way:

Body maps
We learn to navigate physically through the world around us. We build maps of pleasurable experiences and dangers that we can then move towards or away from when we are in similar territory in the future.

Mental maps
These are our most familiar ones, the images of the world we have built from earliest childhood. Each map is developed out of our life experiences, which are imprinted upon the software of our physical being and genetic personality.

Of necessity, we set up our mapping programs when we are infants and build upon them from that starting point. This leaves us vulnerable to misperceptions that bias our life-course maps and may lead us into problems that are of our own creation.

Jean’s parents were loving parents but often harsh in their criticisms when Jean misbehaved or when they thought she was not performing at her best. She internalized these criticisms, setting unreasonably high standards and demands for herself in her mental maps, which persisted into adulthood.

We also build meta-maps of zones of confidence and competence on the one side and on the other side alertness for danger zones, based on past experiences.

Sally was a well-liked and popular girl in school. Her parents were enthusiastically supportive and encouraging of her academic and social achievements. She exuded a warmth and charm that endeared her to her peers. She was able to share with them a lot of the nurturing she experienced at home. She just knew she was ok, and was able to help others connect with that inner ‘okayness’ as well.

Emotional maps
How we navigate through our emotional worlds will also be mapped out in accordance with our life experiences.

Bob was the second of five children in a family where his father was emotionally and physically abusive. He appeared surprisingly calm and unaffected by the stresses he experienced, which appeared to be similar to those of his four siblings – all of whom suffered from various forms of post traumatic stress disorders. On close questioning, it became apparent that he had developed two assets very early in life that provided him with protection of sorts. The first was a keen sense of when his father was going to become violent. This didn’t spare him the abuse, but he was emotionally prepared when it arrived. The second was the support of his very loving older sister, who favored him over his three brothers and provided comfort when he was distressed. This enabled him to feel that he could deal with the abuse, and so its effects were not as strong on him as they were on his brothers and sister. He simply knew he could weather the storms of his father’s tempestuous outbursts, having the safe harbor of his sister’s love as refuge and solace.

Relational maps
Our rules for relating with others are very strongly influenced by our personalities and our life experiences. To a very great extent these rules are shaped within our families and strengthened (both positively and negatively) through other social interactions.

George was a shy but likeable boy who enjoyed his parents’ love and support and a stable home. He was nevertheless hesitant to make friends and tended to be a loner in school, despite the fact that he was generally liked by his peers. When he went away to college, his shyness became a liability to him, as he felt very lonely without the supports of family and known peers. In counseling, he came to realize that bullying in his pre-school year had led him to live the life of a snail – retreating within his shell whenever he felt insecure.

Spiritual maps
For many of us our spiritual maps are borrowed from our family’s religious beliefs and practices. Often, we are asked to take these on faith and to not question whether any of the details we have been given are outdated or perhaps even mistaken.

Increasing numbers of people are learning from personal spiritual experiences that there may be better roads and destinations than they were taught to believe or disbelieve. This is why many are turning away from their religions of birth and family and exploring in their inner journeys the paths less traveled in organized religion, but strongly recommended by Eastern teachers and others who have awakened to gnowing the wonderful vistas and lessons to be found on these paths. Research is validating the universality and consistency of such reports.

Reprogramming your navigational systems

TWR enables you to release your habitual attachments to old, outmoded, or dysfunctional inner paths. Our habitual feelings and thoughts can be released in many cases very easily, through designing personal affirmations and using alternate tapping on the right and left sides of the body. New wholistic awarenesses and understandings can similarly be installed. TWR works equally well on emotional and cognitive issues.

In the examples above:

Jean was able to let go of her overly-high expectations of herself and of her self-criticisms, and programmed in a comfortable acceptance of herself and more reasonable standards for goals and achievements.

Sally became a therapist. She was delighted when she discovered TWR because this rapidly and deeply effective method enables her to help people develop self-confidence and ‘okayness’ very quickly and easily.

Bob discovered that his ‘okayness’ had been achieved at the price of burying his negative feelings and memories outside of his conscious awareness. Working in an emergency medical service, he found himself excessively upset when he had to help people who had been traumatized. His patients’ traumas resonated with the ones he himself had buried, which now surfaced to his emotional awareness, inviting him to release them. TWR was enormously helpful because he could use it discretely at work whenever someone’s trauma triggered a reaction in him. He was especially pleased because he could use TWR without anyone knowing he was doing so.

George overcame his shyness, building up his self-confidence through the installation of positive beliefs and feelings, after releasing his habitually shy maps for navigating through life.

 

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See Also:

Navigation through Life: Mismatches, Mistakes and Mayhem – COMING SOON

Attachment Addictions– COMING SOON

Bullying– COMING SOON

My Way Is Better than Your Way– COMING SOON

Our Way is Better than Your Way– COMING SOON

Discomforts, Dislikes and Deadly Fears of Being Wrong– COMING SOON

Creative Clearing and Centering– COMING SOON

 

You may reproduce all or parts of this article in your journal, magazine, ezine, blog or other web or paper publication on condition that you credit the source as follows: Copyright © 2012 Daniel J. Benor, MD, ABHM   All rights reserved. Original publication at WholisticHealingResearch.com where you will find many more related articles on this and similar subjects of wholistic healing.